Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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