If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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