I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
