there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
