The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
