I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
