where does the pee come out of this thing
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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