2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
