i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
