What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
birth control should be required to get into college
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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