It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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