i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
