Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
