just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
