I am puke
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
