how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
