You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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