I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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