I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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