Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
