still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
