So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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