Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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