the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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