Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
