My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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