having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
