I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
