If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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