There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
