why didn't you poke me back
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
