it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
