dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
