We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
