it was like eating out sand paper
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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