I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
