I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
