we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
