I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
