i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
