he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think i have herpe
just one?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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