Porn is love you can see.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
