I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
