dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
