everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
