areolas are like halos for boobs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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