...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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