Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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