They should really pass out barf bags in church
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
