The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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