if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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