Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
