it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
